Awakening
I was recently asked “how to wake up”. I thought about it for a while and realized that although waking up is a personal experience, by sharing our experiences we can help and support each other with our unique journeys. By sharing we give guidance and hope to those who don’t know how to begin, feel they are lost or are ready to give up. Therefore, what follows is based on my own experience, which I wish to share to encourage the readers to find their way to their own Truth and share themselves with their loved ones or the whole world.
Waking up is simpler than it sounds and the key element is determination because the answer already exist within you, it is actually you. In March 2006, I decided that remembering who I am was the most important goal that I wanted to accomplish in my life. For me it took the following steps, which I followed daily because my life didn’t mean anything to me anymore if I didn’t remember who I am:
- Intention to remember who I am as the highest priority of my life.
- Love my God-self/Higher-self and TRUST its guidance.
- Expand my awareness from my mind to my BEING and radiate love to the world.
The following is how it happened for me.
As a very young baby I was “aware” of myself and until about 4 years old, I was connected telepathically to a group of Beings that were with me and were teaching me about this world. I was aware of being One with all that is and I also knew my Earth parents were not my real parents but were the “Humans” taking care of me in this world. Although everything was so different here, the colors were not as bright and things were very dense, I was amazed with this world, especially with the animals. I constantly remembered where I came from and being a little “Light of Love” connected to many other little lights flying towards a bigger light while being infinitely happy. That is what I was and it was very simple. I was Light and Love no more and no less.
But one morning, I woke up and the connection was gone! The Beings were gone. Where did they go and why? I felt detached, isolated and had forgotten who I was and why I was here in the first place and why I was left alone in this world with these strange “Humans” whose language I didn’t know well. My heart was hurting with so much sorrow; I was really lost, I had lost my family and myself. I was so sad that I got sick with a fever for many days and didn’t want to speak to anyone either. My parents were worried and took me to the doctor who didn’t find why I was sick. How could I explain to them what had happened to me? I was only 4 and was very confused. Finally, I figured that I had done something wrong and I was being punished for it so I had to move on. These memories are now clearer to me than what I did last week. It was that intense and shocking to me.
As I grew up I slowly learned to connect and Trust my God-self who always guided me, especially through the rough times. But it was not as near as how I was connected before. Occasionally, I had dreams about being an infinitely happy little Light connected to many other lights, but I never made the connection that that was who I really was. I thought they “were only dreams” as I was taught to believe. So I got busy with my life, went to school, got married, I had my three daughters, a wonderful husband, a business, my dream home. What else could I ask for, everything was great and I was very happy.
That was until early 2006 when I started “feeling” that something was off with this world. “Coincidentally” I also got very sick with iron-deficiency anemia and Fibromyalgia. Something was “instigating” me from within. I was in a lot of pain yet I felt as if I was waking up within a dream while everyone else was still sleeping (from my perspective). While I was in bed for almost a year, I thought about my life and I realized that throughout my life, whatever I wanted I got, and later I would want something else, like a vicious cycle that never stops. In the meanwhile life keeps going on without most of us knowing who we are, where we came from, where we are going and why we are here in this “God-forsaken world”. I didn’t know anyone who knew the answer. I was so depressed that I was sorry I brought my children to this horrible world. So I started looking for answers everywhere, all kinds of books and websites, etc., but that was even worse. There is so much conflicting information out there that anyone can get lost; however that’s when I decided that remembering who I am was the most important goal that I wanted to accomplish in my life (Step #1).
Soon after that I came across with a set of very interesting books, “Life and Teachings of The Masters of the Far East”. From these books, among many things, I learned to truly connect and love my God-self and to Trust it at a much deeper level than before. Their teaching is very simple, it involves desiring with all your heart and soul to re-connect with your Higher-self/God-self and to take the time to love your God-self and contemplate on the Oneness of all life. So I started meditating and contemplating on Love and Oneness. On about my third attempt, after sending my love to Earth and to the Universe, in one flash of Light I connected and experienced the Oneness of Life. Everything is alive and aware in the Universe. Everything is connected and everything is part of One Being. We are all ONE! I know this from my own experience! I felt so alive and was extremely happy for months.
I kept on meditating, loving and connecting with my God-self, one day at a time (Step #2). One night after reading an article on the internet about the importance of connecting with our “inner child” I asked my God-self before falling asleep to “please let me meet my inner child”. That same night I had an overwhelming dream. In the dream I found a little girl of about 4 years of age that was dying in a dark room. When I held her in my arms, with her last breath she said to me:
“I only wanted to play with the animals but it got really dark and cold. I was hungry and scared all alone”.
As she died in my arms I cried and gave her all my love. I could feel all her pain, fears, desperation and sadness. I thought to myself I “feel pity for her”. Then I heard a voice behind me saying,
“It is not pity, it is unconditional love. Look at what the power of unconditional love can do”
I looked at the little girl as she turned into a beautiful being of light! I kept crying and as I brushed her hair I asked her what her name was. She said
“My name is Rosita and now the whole world can hear me”.
She then turned into a bright light and I woke up crying. The feeling was so overpowering that I had to get up to breathe and I cried for weeks!
One day while crying about this dream and about how much pain I was in because of my sickness and trying to make sense of my life, I asked myself “what is happening to me?” The answer came from within me:
“Metamorphosis”
I said Meta what? The answer came again:
“You are changing”
I said into what?
“Into your True Self”
Then I asked “Why is this happening to me?”
Once again from within the answer came:
“Because of this you are going to help many people. In order to best understand and help Humans you had to be a Human yourself”.
A few months later, I had another dream. I was outside of a bread factory with a group of children.
They told me:
“You are going to be afraid but no matter what you must remember who you are, find the blue-print and destroy it”
So I went in and I heard a loud stamping noise, similar to the sound at the beginning of the movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. It was dark inside and the workers were afraid of the “Boss”. They looked sad and tired. I kept saying to myself “find the blue-print and remember who you are”. I opened a few doors to different offices that were also dark and scary. When I opened one of the doors I saw the scary “Boss” that looked like a monster and a table in front of him with the blue-print under a low light of a lamp. The “Boss” made a very loud and scary sound. I ran to the table and looked at the blue-print and said to myself “I remember who I am”. The blue-print turned into a bright light and the “Boss” disappeared. The whole factory was bright and full of light. When I came out of this room the workers were cheering happily. Then I woke up.
I still didn’t make the connection of being the Light, it was too simple. I guess I was expecting a complex answer; so after that I kept asking my God-self to please help me remember who I am. I spent a lot of time practicing to expand my awareness from my mind to my BEING while feeling and radiating love to the whole world (Step #3). I learned to shift my identity from my Mind (ego) to my BEING (Love). This is a great feeling to be in at all times because when I am BEING LOVE there is NO room for thinking, analyzing and judging the world. There is only acceptance of everything as it is. BEING LOVE is BEING HOME is BEING my True Self. I forgave everyone in my life and decided to stop judging others and having any attachment to my opinions. I realized that the same BEING that IS within me also IS within everyone else. We are all trying to figure ourselves out in one way or another. We are in this together. So I decided to see and treat everyone from the identity of my BEING (Love) to their BEING (Love).
In early 2007 the answer came again. I dreamt that I was in my office in my house. Suddenly I felt a wave of new vibrations like a buzzing, something unusual was happening outside. My husband called me to hurry up outside and when I went I saw a Huge E.T. ship above our house. There were also other people looking at it. I felt a little scared at first when I saw it. Then a smaller ship came out of it and landed in front of my house. The ship then transformed into an E.T. being and I heard my husband telling me to go say hello to him, that this being was my friend. The E.T. said to me “don’t you remember me?” In that moment I remembered his name I said to him “Oh, hi Ticu I remember you! We used to play together when I was a child.” Then Ticu said,
“I came to bring you a message from your father”.
My husband said “why don’t you give him a hug?” and the other people cheered when I hugged Ticu. Then when my cheek touched his cheek my mind opened and expanded in a bright flash of Light, then I remembered who I was, I was a wonderful Light full of Love and Joy! Then I remembered “my father’s” voice saying:
“You are going to go through the void and you are going to forget who you are, but when you remember again, I want you to know that I always loved you, I never left you and I am always with you”.
My whole being turned into a bright Light and I cried of happiness and sadness at the same time. Because I remembered that I left behind all the Greatness and Love that I was to come here because of my great Love for the “Humans” on Earth. The feeling was so overwhelming that I woke up and opened my eyes. Then I saw myself coming back to my body as I watched the scene getting smaller and farther away. I cried so much for days. I contemplated on my childhood and got some of my memory back. That’s why I am able to recall parts of my early days. However, I didn’t understand why ETs were in my dream. I wasn’t into UFOs or ETs and I didn’t understand the connection between them and spirituality. I have always been scared of UFOs and I had never been interested in the phenomenon, that is, until October 13th 2008 when I found Blossom. But that is another story for another time.
After some contemplation, and reading the messages from the FOL I finally got the message that my God-self have been sending me:
I am Love and Light, as IS everyone else!
It is my wish and intention that with my sharing of my awakening helps and inspire others to find their True Selves. Never give up! As long as you are determined you can count on yourself to remember who you are and awaken within this reality. If you already have then I encourage you to share it. It is a great feeling to contribute to others.
Love and Light to All of you,
Victoria
